Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize