I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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