if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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