i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
