lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
