I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
