like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
