are you so shy because you have an std?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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