if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
