Porn is love you can see.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
