i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
