Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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