Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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