its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
