Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
