before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
