Screwed.edu
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
did you just send me my own nude
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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