Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
