CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
