I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
