I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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