Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
