I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
