Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
