i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
