If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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