Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
