it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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