i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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