Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
