The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
