her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
