Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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