summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
