did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Be still, my beating vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
