I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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