You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
