I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
