airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
