that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
