addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
