dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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