mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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