I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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