4 words: hood of his car
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
