Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
