the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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