I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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