I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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