...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
