Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
