Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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