Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
