Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
